Shes leaving UCOS
by Geezworld234
Summary: We all have to face reality at some point and now it is Sandra's turn but why has she decided to leave?
1. Bad Day

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything!**_

_**For Beth, I know it is not the best of stories to dedicate to somebody to try and cheer them up but I hope it shows she is loved and people care about her, a lot. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Washing down her curry with the sharpness of the dry white wine, the guilt of today's news stung Detective Superintendent Sandra Pullman like a knife clean through the abdomen.

In just two minutes the worst day in the history of her adulthood would be over and it could not come quickly enough.

This time yesterday she had practically everything, loyal friends who she held dear, even if some were now absent, her health and she even had her mother. Now it was all gone. One by one she was losing everyone and everything that ever meant something to her. Frist she lost her beloved father the best man in the world, then Jack Halford, the second best man in the world disappeared off the face of the world, then that funny, uniquely strange man Brian Lane up sticks and went. Now it was her turn to walk away from the Met's Unsolved Crime and Open Case Squad.


	2. I'm Leaving

"I don't know what to say Sandra, other than it truly is the end of an era, I shall be very sorry to see you go" Deputy Assistant Commissioner Robert Strickland did his best not to sound heartbroken by her resignation.

"I can assure you it wasn't an easy decision, Sir" she said fighting back the tears. She had been in this position before but then she knew she never would really go through with it. If only that was the case now, this time she really had no choice. "I will work my notice and I promise you I will give it my all" she flashed a smile and got up to leave, she really could not take this. Sandra was desperate for some air.

"I don't doubt that Sandra" he replied.

"Thank you for being so understanding, Sir".

"It has been an honour having you on my team" he said saying goodbye prematurely as he knew she wouldn't want any sort of fuss and besides saying goodbye later would be just as hard for him.

"Likewise, Sir".

"Oh Detective Superintendent" he said calling her back and gesturing for her to close the door. "I was just curious as to why in your letter of resignation you said you didn't want a transfer".

"Personal reasons, Sir, I am afraid I can't really say".

Reading the serious and somewhat ghost like expression on her face he hazard a guess.

"Is it your mother" he asked solemnly.

Pondering on how to respond, she thought about telling him the truth, the real reason she was leaving UCOS. Nodding she muttered "Yes, I'm afraid she can no longer look after herself, it's a full time job and the home are short staffed so I thought it was best she came and lived with me, then I at least know how she is".

"I am so sorry, Sandra".

"It's alright it is hardly your fault".


	3. Bad News

Closing his office door firmly shut behind her she allowed one tiny tear to roll down her right cheek before squeezing her eyes tightly shut to avoid any more spilling down her face.

* * *

_"I'm afraid there is nothing we can do, Miss Pullman. I am so sorry to be telling you this but we do have a first rate support network we can refer all your family too". The nurse spoke with train sympathy, she must utter that phrase at least ten times a day, so come four it must be hard to sound as if you really care._

_Sandra didn't speak she just sat stiff and still from the shock of it all. All colour evaporated from her complexion._

* * *

She knew that word would travel at the speed of light re her early retirement from the Met. So she would have to tell the boys herself as soon as. Christ, she didn't even think of them as her boys anymore. There was only one of her boys left, Gerry, part of the fittings and furniture it appeared.

Yes they were still achieving the highest clean up rates but the way they worked wasn't the same. Even the laughs seemed more and more false. Of course the replacements for Brian and Jack were very good at their jobs, there was no denying that and they seemed pleasant enough but they were not Brian and Jack.

Maybe it was a good thing all this happened, she thought, maybe it would make it easier to walk away now the time had come to do that. One thing was for sure she felt more alone than ever before. Lighting her fourth cigarette of the morning (she hadn't had a drag in almost a decade and it was as calming as a glass of wine, which even by her own standards it was too early for) she began phrasing in her head how she was going to break the news to her team. She knew she should really tell Gerry first and in private, after all he was the only one who she really cared for and knew would take it hardest. She wasn't really bothered as to how the other men would take it. One thing was going to be sure it was going to be impossible to even open her mouth let alone even tell Gerry Standing.


	4. I have Something to Tell You All

When she got the office in the morning she was surprised to see all three men of a certain age sat at their desks working hard. Her plan was to call Gerry to her office and tell him first and the other two before she left tonight.

"Morning Guv" Gerry chirped.

"Morning, Gerry, errr…" She froze, she knew she was going to do this".

"Did you want something" he asked looking up from the computer monitor.

"Nothing urgent, I'll be in my office if you need me". She couldn't find the words no matter how hard, even when he came into her office at the end of the day to see if she fancied going to the pub with them.

"Not tonight thanks Gerry, but before you go will you tell the others just to wait, I need a word". It was now or never.

"Old Strickers hasn't been impressed with us again, then" he joked.

Sandra really wasn't in the mood for jokes. "No, I umm, need to tell you all something" was her response.

Following Gerry into the main UCOS office she almost lost her footing, shaking with nerves she felt nausea creep up and embrace her stomach so tight it knotted in two.

"Alright, boys the Guv has something she needs to tell us" Gerry said rounding them up who had already put their coats on gasping for a drink.

Sandra felt like a rabbit in the headlights as all three of them stared at her, oblivious as to what was about to be dealt. The large lump in her throat made her mouth even dryer and harder to compose any form of words.

"There is no easy way to say this but" she began.

"You Gerry are getting married as in nine months time that accident at the Met's Christmas Party will be a baby" Steven McAndrew joked.

She had known Steve long enough to tolerate this, but she wasn't in the mood. "My mother has been taken ill and she needs full time care so I shall be leaving UCOS and the Met at the end of the month to care for her, she needs all the help she can get" she managed to say without stumbling over her words.

"Shit, Sandra" was all a very shocked Gerry could muster.

"Sandra I am so sorry" came the scot's reply. The third man and the newest to UCOS looked at the floor, he hadn't known her all that long and didn't know what to say.

"Thanks, guys, this will not in any way hinder the progress into finding Felicity Leadbetter's killer, I need, want everything to remain as normal, understood. As for UCOS don't worry your jobs are still safe DAC Strickland is currently organising my replacement. See you tomorrow" she said heading back into her office to collect her things and go home.


	5. I Have Something to Tell You, Gerry

Gerry doubled back claiming he would catch up with his colleagues shortly. Sandra might have been able to fool them but Gerry Standing knew her a lot better to know she hadn't provided them with the real reason why she was leaving UCOS.

He was so shocked, angry even that he didn't even knock on her door he just barged in.

"Have you ever heard of knocking" she said trying to hide the fact she had been crying.

"So your mum's ill, what's up with her then" he said almost aggressively.

"You want a list, does it even matter".

"Sandra, you may have been able to fool them but this is me we are talking about I know you better than that, so don't insult my intelligence by fobbing me off with the excuse that your mother is ill" he said calming down as he realised she was sobbing silently.

"Gerry, I wanted to tell you first, but I couldn't" she said through stifled sobs.

He rushed to her side and knelt down by her chair, "hey, it's okay" he said putting an affectionate arm around her shoulder.

"Oh, Gerry how much further from the truth could you get" she said locking her blues eyes on his.

"Sandra, what's happened" he tried.

"A few months ago I was feeling funny, dizzy spells and that, I took it as my body's way of saying slow down and thought no more of it until a week or so ago when I was in the shower and found a lump under my arm. I left it a few days but realised it got bigger so I had it checked out. I got the results back two days ago, turns out I have had advanced breast cancer for the best part of a year, they said it's too late to do anything about it" she said watching how her words had destroyed Gerry 'last man' Standing.

"Oh Sandra, I don't know what to say" he whispered.

"Please don't tell anyone, you are the only one who knows, I wanted to tell you of all people the truth but that meant accepting that it's going to happen and you know me, Gerry".

"Yeah I do" he began as the tears clouded his eyes, "Have you told your mum, I think she needs to know".

"Not yet, I will, tonight I promise".

"What a crap life it's turned out to be, fatherless at 14, divorced at 23 no proper relationship since, no kids dead not long after 50".

"Oh Sandra, think of all the good times, UCOS your job, you lived for that, and me, Brian and Jack" he trailed off remembering that times had drastically changed.

"Yeah, well look where that's got me" she cried uncontrollably and Gerry jumped up and held her tight.

"Ssh, Sandra, you are not going this alone I will be there for you, until the… every step of the way" it was killing him already but he knew even Sandra who was as tough as they come could not go through this alone and besides he had been in love with her for almost a decade and this was going to destroy him but knew he had to be strong, for Sandra's sake.

"Until the end, you were going to say until the end" she said burying her head in his shirt.

He didn't reply to this as he did not know what to say.

"I am not leaving your side even for a second Sandra and in fact the last thing you can do as a detective super is to accept my resignation".

"No Gerry, don't be silly, you need this".

"I was thinking of leaving anyway it's not been the same since Jack and Brian left and now you, well I don't want to be part of another team. Besides as you keep telling me I am too old for this"

They shared a little laugh; it was the first time she had even smiled properly let alone laugh for weeks.

"Gerry, I have a confession to make" she knew she couldn't take this secret to her early grave.

"We are on Candid Camera" he joked.

"Gerry, please this is not the time for jokes".

"Sorry Sandra, I'm sorry".

"Gerry Standing, I have been madly in love with you since we started UCOS even when you drove me up the wall and I told Jack I disliked you I knew I was kidding myself. I never knew if I should have told you this, as well you know it's unprofessional but I have realised the hard way that life is too short and there is no point kidding myself anymore, I love you Gerry".

He was stunned; maybe she was delirious or wanted on last fling. Or maybe she did genuinely love him. How he longed to hear those words and now it was a bit too late.

He kissed her. It was all he could think of doing. The intimate exchange said more than any words could say. It assured her she was safe, and more importantly loved.

"Sandra, I love you so much too, I should have told you second I realised" regret was high in his voice.

"Gerry please don't say things, just for the sake of it".

"I promise you, Sandra, I am doing no such thing, I adore you more than life itself" perhaps not the best choice of words. "I am going to make the rest of your life however long that may the best ever, and that is a promise, we have so much time to make up for" he said kissing her again.

"Gerry Standing, what has got into you" she asked trying to sound like her usual self.

"It's what love does to you, Sandra. What do you say; I could be so good for you".

"I have been trying to convince myself for years that wasn't the case but it's too late to deny it now" she smiled as her cupped her face in his warm hands.

"I am going to make you so happy, that is if you want to be my girl"

"Gerry, you know me better than that, I have never been anyone's girl and I am not going to start now but I would like to be a big part of your life, on one condition"

"Anything"

"When I'm gone you come back to UCOS, you work hard and carry on as normal I will even allow you to flirt with your new boss, providing she's female, no matter how blonde and dumb she is, no matter how long her legs are make sure the Gerry Standing I know and love makes her life just as miserable as you made mine in the early stages of UCOS. Do not change who you are because of me, I want you to be happy to Gerry; I just wish it could be with me for a lot longer. Christ I used to imagine you and me and I always thought it would be me burying you and not the other way around" she said solemnly.

"Sandra, there is no other woman that could replace you, you are one of a kind and I love you and only you".

She put her index finger on his lips to silence him. "Don't mourn me, understood, get on with your life, well what's left of it, enjoy it, promise, me you will do this and I will be waiting patiently for you on the other side". Her eyes glittered with tears as she begged.

"Sandra-"he began.

"Promise me Gerry, this is the one little thing, you can't deny a dying woman that" emotional blackmail was bound to work, she thought as she realised this was the first time she had said out loud she was dying, she had at last come to terms with her fate and it was all because of Gerry.

"I promise you, Sandra, with all my heart, now come here". He embraced her and stroked her shiny, smooth blonde hair; he had what he had always dreamed of, even if it wasn't for keeps in this world at least he could make the one true love of his life happy for the rest of hers and that was enough.

* * *

_**The End!  
**_

_**I hope it wasn't too sad and I hope I did Sandra's exit justice I am sure you all have a thought on New Tricks continuing without 3/4 of the original cast and this is how I think Sandra would leave. Anyway any review would sure be welcome. Thanks for reading, Gee :) x**_


End file.
